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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26953327">Losing it All</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keithisgay/pseuds/Keithisgay'>Keithisgay</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Oneshots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Voltron: Legendary Defender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Family, Family Member Death, M/M, Original Character Death(s), Original Character(s)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-10-11</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 18:34:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,328</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26953327</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Keithisgay/pseuds/Keithisgay</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Everyone stared at him in silent shock. He'd just yelled at Shiro for a good half an hour, tracing everything bad in his life the past several years to him. Ironically enough, Shiro was the first to recover from the shock. "Listen here Griffin." He growled, glaring at him. "You. ARE. Going. To. Work. Today." "No. The only thing I'm doing today is getting drunk off my ass so I can forget why I hate this day so much."</p><p>James used to have a happy life. A great family, and friends who never failed to make him smile. But ever since the Kerberos mission, things changed. And James will never be the same again. Things happened, and people were lost. What happens when James finally loses his cool? When his least favorite day of the year rolls around? How will his friends react to this new information?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Acxa/Veronica (Voltron), Curtis/Shiro (Voltron), Ina Leifsdottir/Nadia Rizavi, James Griffin/Keith (Voltron)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Oneshots [1]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/2158227</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Losing it All</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>"Is he okay?" Ryan whispered to Nadia. "I dunno. He's probably just tired." James had walked into their meeting for the day, the 1 year anniversary of the end of the war on Earth, with a scowl on his face. He plopped into his chair and death stared the table in front of him. "Good morning everyone." Shiro said, walking in. "Who's ready for a celebration?" The others cheered. "Come on James, lighten up." James shot him a glare. "Oookay. Well, paladins, you get the fun part. You'll take the lions to New Altea and visit the kids, take pictures and whatnot. Nadia, Ina and Ryan, we have some festivals for you to visit. James, I need you to finish up a bit of the paperwork, then you'll head out with your team." "I'm taking the day off." James says. "James, we have a full schedule of events planned." "Which I'm sure you can do without me." James says. "James, this is not optional. You're doing this." Shiro orders.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Takashi. Look. At. Me." James ordered as Shiro glared at him. "I'm. Not. Working. Today." "Griffin, you have to. Today marks one year since the war ended completely." "Yeah, you know what else it is?" James asked, standing. "My 21st birthday. A day I should be celebrating with my family. But wait! Today's also the 1 year anniversary of the day I found my entire family's dead bodies! Oh, and four years since I watched Adam disintegrate midair. So excuse me if I'm not in the mood to do more work." "I know what you're going through James. But that's not an excuse for avoiding your responsibilities." Shiro said coldly. "No, you don't. You don't know. You don't have any idea." James said just as coldly. "Then tell me." Shiro growled. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Fine. First, it's been four years since Adam died. And guess what? He was only in that ship because of YOU. He thought it would make you happy, wherever the hell you were at the time. And after you disappeared on Kerberos, he got super depressed. He barely ate or drank. I had to make sure he got up and did the basic thing for life. I was only 16! Keith, my best friend, was also super sad and mad all the time, because his big brother who he idolized was gone! He barely talked to me and told me he hated me, then got himself kicked out and didn't bother to talk to me after! Then, Keith disappeared, and Adam got even worse! He was LITERALLY skin and BONES. Sam didn't think he would survive. But the second he found out YOU of all people were alive, he was fine. He went back to normal. But he forgot about me. After taking care of his lovesick ass for two years, he forgets I exist. When I try and talk to him, he ignores me. When he's about to get in the ship, I ask him why. He says 'It's what Shiro would've wanted.' I ask him why after all these years, after all the shit you said to him and did to him, he still cares. You know what he did? He slapped me. So hard my neck popped. You could hear it all the way across the hangar. Then, he turned away and got in that ship and flew to his death. He BURNED. ALIVE. I could hear him scream over the comms. I was 17. Oh, by the way, it was my birthday! Then, all this war shit happens! We find almost everyone else's family, but mine in nowhere to be found! For four YEARS, I had no idea if they were dead or alive. I have to dive out of my ship and catch Nadia before she hits the ground because some Sendak guy has a problem with YOU and decides to make your entire planet suffer! Ina nearly gets her head cut off by some soldier, and Ryan passes out from dehydration midair, because due to the whole alien invasion, water is low! I get stuck in the woods for weeks after some soldiers try to abduct me! But I'm only in the woods after having been in the Gladiator pits for a month, nearly dying several times and getting tossed around like a ragdoll for people's enjoyment! And to survive, I had to kill people! Then, during my escape, I get shot not once, but twice! In the exact same spot! And it's bleeding like crazy! So while I'm running around a bear, wolf and cougar infested woods, I have a bleeding stomach wound, and I'm only in prisoner rags! And I'm like that for weeks before some cadets on patrol find my half dead body by the side of a road. I wake up in the hospital, finding out that not only do I not get any rest, but my birthday passed, and I'm 18 now. More missions, more near death experiences, we go on a supply run. Guess what! It's my birthday again! I'm 19! You know what I got? A surprise sentry attack and losing Veronica as a tunnel collapsed and she saved our sorry asses! We think she's dead for months, but find out she isn't, and had found her entire family and more refugees! Great right? Then, we find out we have to do more supply runs in more dangerous areas so we don't all slowly die of hunger and dehydration. Supply stars dwindling, then you guys finally show up! And promptly almost get yourselves killed by little flying robots. For some reason, Lance hates me, and death stares me almost every chance he gets. I try asking you once about Adam, you pass me and shoulder me so hard I go flying into the wall! I don't get to talk to my best friend who's been in space for four years because we're a little busy saving the planet! We finally fight Sendak, but he nearly dies! And while you're parading around the ATLAS bragging about fighting Sendak, I'm carrying Keith's half dead body out of the lion and to the hospital, praying to every god I've ever heard of that he doesn't die! Then, I spend the next few months switching between worrying about whether or not he's gonna make it and helping liberate the rest of our planet. I'm waiting in his hospital room when he finally wakes up, but I don't even get a chance to talk to him before you come running in saying how happy you are to see him, how worried you were when YOU pulled him out, even though I know for a fact that you never visited him! You shove me out of the room and hand me papers, telling me to do your own work. On my birthday, number 20, I finally get a day off and decide to go home, see how my family is. I think they're all okay, cause all the cars are there, and the door is locked. I open the door expecting to see them alive and well, but am instead treated with the sight of their decaying bodies. Blaster shots through their foreheads and stomachs. Maggots and all sorts of other disgusting creatures all over them, going in and out. They were waiting for me. There was a banner, saying 'Happy birthday James' deflated balloons, a rotten cake. I was supposed to be there with them, celebrating my 17th birthday. The only reason I wasn't was because protocol, otherwise I would've been dead right alongside them. Their bodies were so toxic I had to burn the place down. My house on the hill. The only home I'd ever known, I had to watch burn, the smell of burning rotten flesh hitting me over and over in waves. My family, burning, because I wasn't able to bring them here. I didn't even get a chance to mourn. I came back, and you looked me dead in the eyes and said "Life's tough Griffin. Get over it, and get back to work. I never got to process it. Then, we're in space, fighting, AGAIN! Almost dying in an alien atmosphere! We finally get a break at that fair thing, and I think "Hey, maybe I'll get a chance to talk with Keith. You know, my best friend who almost died in my arms? Hey, maybe we can even play some games like we did that one time at Six Flags.' But then you come up and you tell me, word for word 'Leave Keith alone. Don't talk to him, don't look at him, don't think about him, do nothing involving him. Stay away from MY little brother.' And me,being the generally good person I am, listens. But then, I start getting this weird pain in my chest,but I think, nah, I'm fine, I just miss him. And by some luck, I end up talking to Keith a few times, and my face hurts from smiling so much. But then you show up, and you say 'Stay away from Keith, or I throw you out of the airlock.' And because I like living, I listen. But that pain in my chest comes back, and over the next hellish weeks, I realize, fuck, I don't miss him, I'm in love with him! But he's mad at me because I haven't been talking to him. We finally get back home, but it's been a hell of a ride, and there's still SO much to do on Earth, so I don't get a chance to fix things. And you have ths fucking audacity to be complaining about your work load and your responsibilities, and you decide to unload a bunch if them on me. So while I'm working my ass off doing your work, you're running around getting drinks and fucking Crutis! While my stability is slowly disappearing, and my least favorite day in existence gets closer, you hand me more work, and whenever I get anywhere NEAR a paladin, you death stare me, and I somehow end up with even more work! My life has been a living hell the last few years, so excuse me if I don't feel like working today!" </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James finished. He'd gotten dangerously close to Shiro, and was staring up at him, hate in his eyes. "Lieutenant Griffin." Shiro spat. "Your personal problems are not a reason to forgo your responsibilities for the day."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ok, then what about my mental health? Because I don't think almost every time I see Lance, I should also see my older brother! Or seeing Pidge and having to do a double take because I think it's my little sister, who is supposed to be around her age! Or, whenever I see people hugging or families together, I feel a ghost of a touch. Like someone is hugging me. Or, feeling a phantom pain in my chest where I got shot, or in my shoulder where when Ryan got controlled by some witch ended up stabbing me with a knife! Or the ghost of Adam's slap on my face and his screams in my nightmares! Or seeing all of you, or my family, lying dead and decomposed almost every time I close my eyes. Or the flames that took the only home I've ever known away flickering, the smell of burning, rotten flesh hitting me. I pass the memorial dozens of times everyday, and everytime I'm reminded of all the people who died because we couldn't save them in time. The ache in my chest and the burning realization that my bestfriend who I fell in love with hates me now because you won't let me talk to him! The hollow feeling I have inside me from lack of any emotion besides pain and misery! Is that enough of a reason for you? Does all THAT meet YOUR requirements? Your impossibly high expectations?" James yelled. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Everyone stared at him in silent shock. He'd just yelled at Shiro for a good half an hour, tracing everything bad in his life the past several years to him. Ironically enough, Shiro was the first to recover from the shock. "Listen here Griffin." He growled, glaring at him. "You. ARE. Going. To. Work. Today." "No. The only thing I'm doing today is getting drunk off my ass so I can forget why I hate this day so much." James said, brushing past him. "I'm not done talking to you." Shiro said, grabbing his arm. James froze and his head hung, hair falling in his face, eyes unseen. Then he turned and THREW SHIRO off of him. "WELL I'M DONE WITH YOU! EVERY SHITTY THING THAT'S HAPPENED IN MY LIFE THE PAST FEW YEARS HAS BEEN BECAUSE OF YOU! SO WHY DON'T YOU JUST FUCK OFF ALREADY?" He roared. He had fangs, and his eyes were glowing a bright yellow, like those of a Galra. He stormed out of the room, dropping his helmet behind him. Everyone stared at him in shock.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Wow. I-wow." Nadia said. "His whole family? He found them?" Hunk whispered. "I-I had no idea. He thought they lost Ronny?" Lance said, running a hand through his hair. "Cameron. He mentioned her. She was his favorite." Ryan said. "Shiro." Keith growled, turning to face his brother. "What. Did. You. Do?" "What I had to Keith. James is just going to hold you back. All of you. Besides, you heard him." "Yeah, I heard him say he LOVES me, and that you forbade him from talking to me and threw him into a wall." Shiro sighed. "You know I've never liked him. And he was supposed to be with his family. He should be dead anyway. James is not worth any of our time, and we'll be better off without him. Now come on, we still have the celebrations. The people need to see us." Shiro said, leaving the room. The others followed him numbly,  still shocked by the confrontation between him and James.</span>
</p>
<hr/><p> </p><p>
  <span>Several hours passed, and no one saw James. Iverson reported that he'd left in civvies with a backpack, looking pissed. They got his old address from Sam, and drive there in one of the rovers. They found the big hill, far away from the Garrison. Different kinds of flowers dotted the hillside, and a black hoverbike was at the bottom. They went halfway up the hill, coming to a stop when James came into view. He sat at the top, in the middle of a large plain, staring at a glowing blue image. "I know you're there." He said. "I wasn't just blaming Shiro. I told the truth. This whole war was his fault. He wanted the Kerberos mission. He pushed for it to happen, and for him to be on it. Some of the best doctors in the world said he shouldn't, so did Adam. But he convinced Sam to give the Garrison an ultimatum. He goes, or none of them do. Then he ends up breaking up with Adam, which completely destroys him. You know he still wore that stupid ring, even whe he flew? Then they disappeared, and Keith just deflated. I could see the life leaving your eyes. Then you decked Iverson and got yourself kicked out. Then the four of you disappear, and Adam WAS skin and bones. But the second he found out you guys were alive, he was fine. Then he hears that Sendak is attacking. You know what he said the first day? 'Come on out Shirogane. Come defend your precious home. Or all these people die because of you.' But he wasn't there. So he killed millions of people. The war on Earth happened because Sendak had a problem with Shiro. And everything that happened after was because of the war, which he caused." James finished. The rest heard bottles clinking. "Come on. I know better than anyone that the side of the hill isn't comfortable." </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They go the rest of the way up the hill, and Keith sits on one side of James, Veronica on the other. "My birthday present." He said, tapping on a small silver circle. "Almost every picture, every video of my family since I was born, all in one place. 'So you don't forget us when you're in space.' The tag said. Must've taken them months to make." He pressed some buttons and threw it a few feet away. A big hologram appeared, covering the midafternoon sky. "</span>
  <span>HAPPY BIRTHDAY JAMIE!</span>
  <span>" It said. "Go ahead and have a few drinks." James said, gesturing to the several beer cases in front of them. They grabbed beers, and it started.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"And look who it is." A man's voice said. The camera showed a lady with smooth white skin and glowing flowing brown hair, holding a baby. "This is our youngest child. Meet James Griffin." The baby whined a bit, head turning. "Look at him. He's adorable." The man said. "Daddy daddy daddy!" Other voices said. The camera turned, and you see a trio of girls of all different ages run in, followed by a little boy. "Are they here?" The girl in front asks. She has brown hair and light skin, but gray eyes. The man and woman laugh. "Yes honey, they're here. You wanna see them?" She nods excitedly, a smile overtaking her face. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"That's Erin. She was 8 when I was born." James comments.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span><em>The little girl approaches her mother, who turns the baby in her arms. "Meet your little brother, James." She smiles and pokes a finger at his stomach lightly. "He's so small." She whispers. "Guys, come see!" The two other girls and the boy approach. One has light green eyes, the other brown. The boy has tanish skin, brown hair, and brown eyes</em>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Green eyes is Lily. She was 7. The other is Alex, 5." James says. "And the boy is Matthew. He's 9."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Why's he so squishy looking?" Alex asks, poking her new brother's cheek. Matthew slaps her hand. "Don't do that. Do this." He puts his pointer finger in little James's tiny hands. Baby James yawns and opens his eyes, squinting in the bright hospital lights. Then he yawns again and opens his eyes. "Oh my." His mother says. They're bright purple, and he smiles up at her. "Honey, he's beautiful." She says. "I couldn't agree more." His father says. Matthew moves his finger a bit. "Hey Jamie. I'm Matthew. That's Erin, Lily, and Alex. We're your big siblings, and we're always gonna be here for you, okay?" Little James coos and holds Matthew's finger tightly in his baby hands. Their mother smiles, and the camera moves, showing a smiling man. He has a strong jaw and a piercing pair of purple eyes. "Ain't he cute?" He says never the image goes black.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>Then, a montage of pictures starts. There's hundreds of them, each one fading into the next. You see James and his siblings grow over four years, according to the time stamps. There's family Halloween costumes, matching clothes portraits, Christmases and birthdays. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>James is holding a yellow lion plushie, smiling brightly as he clutches it close to his chest while sitting in his brother's arms.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>You see Erin at a dance recital, wearing a light pink tutu, her siblings sitting on the sidelines.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>All the girls in a row, smiling as they're dressed up for Halloween. Batwoman, Belle, and Heroine Granger. Matthew is a fireman, and James is in an astronaut's suit. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>James and Matthew are in a living room, and the tower James is building out of blocks collapses. "Fuck!" He says. "What did you just say?" His mother asks, head appearing in the doorway. "I dunno. I heard Lil say it." Little James answers, going back to his blocks. "LILY!" His mother yells, storming off.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Then there's one of their mother's, with a swollen belly. "Mommy, what happened?" James asks. "You're going to have another sibling." Little James looks visibly confused. Mathew appears and picks him up. "So, Jamie, whenever Mom's tummy gets big, she ends up going to the hospital. Then, doctors do some work on her, and we have a new sibling." James nods. "Ohhh. Okay. Can you put me down now? Al said she'd play with me." Matthew sets him down and he speeds off.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The next video clip shows Erin and Lily holding a 6 year old James in their arms between them. "You ready?" Lily asks. James nods. ``1, 2, 3!" Erin counts. On three, they launch James high into the air. You hear him laugh and the camera shakes. "Yeah James!" The voice calls. "What is going on her- girls! I told you not to use your brother for cheerleading throws!" Their dad says, rushing out to them. "But daddd." They whine. "Don't 'daddd' me. Or you can wait until tomorrow to see your new sibling. Little James is suddenly at his dad's side. "They're here?" He asks excitedly. "Yep. Come on, visiting hours are most over." James runs over to Matthew, who's evidently holding the camera. "Come on Matt! I wanna see em!" He says, grabbing his hand and tugging on it. "Alright Jamie, I get it. You're excited." The camera shakes, then shuts off.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>A series of pictures go by, of the sibling meeting the newest addition to their family. One shows a smiling baby with light blue eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Cameron." James whispers. "I was 6 ½."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You see James's first day of school, Alex's eighth grade graduation, birthday parties, countless pictures of James with Cameron or Matthew. Then, there's one that shocks them all. Erin, holding a Galaxy Garrison letter of acceptance. She's 14 years old. There's a series of pictures of her and her parents touring the base, other families with them as well. James is there too, walking next to his sister. His young eyes are blown wide with amazement. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>More pictures. You see Lily graduate middle school, and James advance in grades. There's one with Matthew, standing in front of a brick wall, holding a letter of admission to Stanford. You see Cameron grow from a tiny baby to a toddler, to older. In half the pictures, she's by James's side. In one, she's even holding his lion, smiling vibrantly. Her first day of school, Alex and the other girls graduate highschool.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Pictures of more family events.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>
    <em>Ones of them at the beach. The two boys run in the surf, laughing, water guns in hand, their drenching wet sisters following not far behind. "JAMES!" Erin yells. She's catching up to him. He laughs and speeds up, passing his brother and diving into the waves. Erin huffs and stops, out of breath. "Dammit!" A squirt of water hits the side of her face. She stands up and looks at James, who's smiling in the water. She smirks and dives in. He abandons the water gun and swims farther out. She catches him and starts tickle torturing him, causing him to laugh and shriek. "Ahahaa! Erin! Haha! Stop!" He cries, squirming in her grip. "RAHHH!" Mathew yells, grabbing him. Erin yelps and backs away. Matthew props James up on his shoulders and hands him his water gun. He smiles and brings up his own, and they start shooting their sister. She laughs and runs away, Matthew not far behind. "RAHHH! I'M THE WATER MONSTER! I'M GONNA GET YOU!" He yells. She shrieks and runs, getting closer to the camera. "NO no no!" The person cries. "ALEX HELP ME!" Erin yells, running at her. The boys smile and take aim. The person holding the camera yelps and it shakes, then turns off.</em>
  </span>
</p><p>
  <span>Another picture. Erin, standing in front of the Garrison, in her cadet uniform.  Then another besides her. James. </span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A video starts. "Hey guys." James says on screen. "James! How's the Garrison?" "Um, fine. My roommate's not a complete ass,, so that's good." A pillow hits the side of his face. "Hey!" You hear a laugh. "Who's that?" "That's Keith. My roommate." Another pillow to the face. "Yeah, he's great. Always throwing stuff at me. He punched me when I first walked in." Another pillow.  "Where the hell are you getting all of these?" "It was an ACCIDENT. You startled me." "Sureeee." "James, play nice." A voice scolds. "Yes mom. How you guys? Did Cam start school?" "Jamie!" A little voice says. James smiles. "Hey Cam. How was school?" "Good! But teacher lady said to tell you and Matty you're still her worst students." James blinks a few times then bursts out laughing. "That's great." You hear rustling and a door open, followed by muffled voices. "Aight I have to go." "Love you James!" They call. "Love you guys too. Bye." It cuts out. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"This next segment is what I like to call 'James's idiot stage', which, to my knowledge, still hasn't ended." Erin's voice says. "Courtesy of. Mrs. And Mr. Kinkade." </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You see James and a bunch of other cadets, hanging out in the lounge room. "Dude, what's with the camera?" A voice asks. "Cause I fuking can Nadia." Ryan says. She shrugs and goes back to her conversation. "How the fuck do you have that many siblings?" Nadia asks James. He shrugs. "Don't know. Don't wanna know. Why is your hair purple?" James says, throwing some popcorn in his mouth. "Because I can. Who's your favorite?" She asks, stealing some popcorn. "Little sister Cameron." A pillow hits the back of his head. "Hey!" He turns. "Jackass." Erin says. Keith laughs from his spot next to James. "That's why she's my favorite. Hasn't started cursing yet. Only one who hasn't called me a jackass." Another pillow. James takes it and throws it at her. "Where the hell are you guys getting all these pillows?" Keith is laughing so hard he's shaking now. James frowns and throws a piece of popcorn at him. It hits him right in the nose and he blinks, stopping his laughter. Then he smirks and grabs a handful of popcorn and throws it at James and the others. Then everybody is throwing popcorn. "Cadets!" Shiro calls, appearing in the doorway. "Stop that! Clean this up, right now!" James and Keith share a look. Shiro opens his mouth to say something else, and James throws a piece at him, landing it in his mouth. Him and the others cheer. Shiro frowns. "Clean it up. NOW." The camera shakes and shuts off. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>Now, they're in the gym. "Run down and back 3 times. Last one to finish has to do 50 pushups." The teacher says. "On your mark, get set, GO!" The students all run shoes screeching on the floor. You see the taller ones in the lead, followed by Keith, James, Ryan, Nadia and Veronica. Keith and James are tied and gaining speed, already done with their first one, the others not far behind. James pulls ahead of Keith, who frowns and goes faster. James does the same, but with a smile. Soon, him and Keith are the only ones running, racing each other down and back while everyone else watches. "Good job boys! Keep it up!" The teacher calls. They keep running, ignoring everyone else. Then a bell rings. They stop at the far end, leaning on their knees, catching their breath. "Very good boys! I like what I'm seeing. But technically, you are the last ones to finish." "Aw, come on coach." Keith whines. "We did like, 20 extra." James says. "Alright, I guess I'll let you off easy this time." The two boys smile gratefully.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>You see more pictures, but with the people at the Garrison. They're smiling and laughing, joking around. There's a video, dated for the end of their second year.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Bye guys!" James calls over his shoulder, waving. "Bye dipshit!" Nadia calls. "Later asshole." "Jamie!" A little girl cries. Cameron comes into view and almost tackles the boy around the waist. "He stumbles. "Hey Cam. What's up?" "Where's Keef? I wanna meet him." She says. "Nice to see you too. Let's see if he's still here." James says, taking her hand. Erin goes over to their family, punching her sister's arm. James is back with them. "You guys seen Keith?" Said boy comes walking up to them. "Speak of the devil." Nadia mumbles, and James shoots her a glare. "Keef!" Cameron shouts, running at him. This time, she succeeds in tackling her victim. "Oof. Who are you?" Keith asks, propping himself up in his elbows. "I'm Cameron. Jamie's little sister." She says. "You're Keef, right?" "It's Keith." He says. "Sorry about that." James says, walking over. "She really wanted to meet you." "Yeah, because I'm such a people person." Keith deadpans, standing. "Jamie says you're not a complete asshole. Is that a good thing?" Cameron asks, grabbing his hand. Keith raises an eyebrow. "Jamie?" "It's what my siblings call me. Come on Cameron, time to go home." "Is Keef gonna visit?" She asks. James looks at Keith. "Umm…" "Please Keef? Will you come visit?" She asks, using puppy dog eyes. Keith stares at her for a second, then smiles. "Sure thing Cameron. I just need Jamie to text me the address." She smiles and hugs his legs. "Yay! Keef's gonna come visit! Come on Jamie, we have to tell Mommy!" She drags him away. "Bye Keith! I'll text you!" James calls. "Bye Jamie." Keith says with a smirk. "Bye James!" The future MFE pilots call. "Bye guys!" </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span>More pictures. James and Erin back at home. James frowning while Alex and Lily pour rainbow glitter on him, with the caption 'When James finally tells us he's gay. Honey, we knew.' </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James laughs. "Matthew wrote that. He tried painting a rainbow on my face too."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Matthew with a girl. Blond, with brown eyes. James smiling at his phone. Alex with frosting on her face, Lily laughing in the background. The rest of the Griffin kids, frosting all over their faces, grinning from ear to ear.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A bell rings and James opens the door. "Hey Keith! What's up?" "Let me in, it's hot." Keith grumbles. "Rude." James says, stepping to the side. "Keef!" Cameron yells, running into him. She knocks him down while James laughs. "Hi Cameron." Keith says. "You came! Alex said you wouldn't</span>
    <span>, but you did!" "Who's Alex?" Keith asks. The camera person walks over. "I'm Alex. James's coolest older sibling." "Really? He's never mentioned you." Keith says. "Come on Keith! Come watch Avatar with me and Jamie!" "Which Avatar?" He asks, letting the girl drag him away. "The cartoon." James answers, closing the door and following them.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>The video cuts out, restarting in a different place. Keith and James are on opposite ends of a couch, Cameron in between them. "Do you boys want some cupcakes?" His mom asks. "Yeah!" Cameron says enthusiastically, crawling on top of James. Their mom laughs and brings three over. "Here." She hands them each one. Keith eyes his skeptically. "Keith, it's not poisonous." James says. "Yeah, see!" Cameron says, turning in James's lap and knocking his cupcake into his face. He has frosting on his face. Keith starts giggling, Cameron following. "Oh that's funny, huh?" James says. He uses his finger and puts frosting from Keith's cupcake on Keith's nose. He stops laughing and blinks a few times, like a cat. James starts laughing, and Keith sticks his tongue out, trying to get the frosting. Cameron laughs so hard she falls off the couch, which sends the boys into another fit of laughter. "Cam, are you okay?" James chokes out. "My cupcake is smooshed." She pouts. "Then go get another." Keith says. "But Mommy says I can only have 1." She says. "What your mommy doesn't know won't hurt her." Keith whispers. She smiles and shoots up, running off. "You're going to be a bad influence on her." James says, biting his cupcake. "This was her idea. I'm just being nice." Keith replies with a smirk. Cameron comes running back in, carrying three cupcakes. "Hurry! I don't want Mommy to see!" She whisper-yells, plopping down next to Keith, pushing him next to James. "Cameron!" James hisses, looking around. He takes the cupcake. "Eat fast." He whispers. The others smile and the camera cuts out. "Yes, we know you took the extra cupcakes and blamed Alex, Lily and Erin. Not nice Cameron." The voice says.</span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>It's dark in the next part. "Shh! You're gonna wake them up!" The camera person says. They enter the living room, and you see the blue glow of the TV screen. "Oh my god! Do you think they're dating?" Lily asks, apparently also there. "Shut up! I need proof, and if you keep talking you're gonna wake them up!" "Buzzkill." Lily mutters. The camera moves closer to the couch. It peeks over the edge, and the person holding it starts giggling.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>"Holy shit." Pidge wheezes. "I don't remember that." Keith mutters. "Me neither." James says.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <em>
    <span>They camera shows James and Keith, cuddled up on the couch. Keith is lying on his chest, face buried in his neck. James holds him, their legs tangled. "Holy shit." The person wheezes. "Shut up Alex! You'll wake them up!" Lily hissed. Cameron pops up. "Whatcha doing?" She asks. Keith groans and nuzzles into James, who tightens his grip. "Shh! Be quiet." Alex says. "Why? Is it because of Jamie and Keef?" Cameron asks. "Yes. Now shhh!" The sisters laugh at the boys. "We've got to show them tomorrow." Lily says. "No, this is blackmail material. Besides, I'm 90% sure they're actually dating, so it wouldn't matter." "Girls? Is that you?" Their father calls. "Shit!" Alex says. The camera moves, then shuts off. </span>
  </em>
</p><p>
  <span><em>"James fucking Griffin, tell your boyfriend to get his ass back to Earth right now. We all know you miss him." The voice says again</em>.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"They thought you were dating?" Veronica asks. "Apparently. I've never looked at all of this before. I've only ever gotten as far as Cam's birth." James says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>More pictures. Keith and Cameron, watching a Disney princess movie, her sitting in his lap. James running away from Keith with a bucket in hand, who's soaking wet. </span>
</p><p>
  <span><em>James has the camera in hand. "Guys, come look." He says to Alex and Erin. The camera flips, and you see Cameron's bedroom. Keith is sitting in front of her, looking at something on his phone as she puts pins in his hair. "Look Keef! Now you're a princess too!" She says. James starts laughing, and Keith's head snaps up, eyes widening. "JAMES!" He roars, standing. "Shit." James starts running, camera in hand. "Lily, catch!" He shouts, tossing the camera. She fumbles with it, but turns it towards him. He's running from Keith, who's closing in. "James! Get back here!" He laughs and runs down the stairs, his siblings following. "Go James!" Alex calls. "No, go Keith!" Lily yells. They run outside, and chase each other in circles around the backyard. James is laughing, and trips on a stray toy. Keith tackles him, and starts tickling him. James squirms beneath him, laughing loud and clear. "Hahaha! Keith! Ahahahaa! St-st-stop it!" He stutters. Keith stops and pants above him. "Caught you." He says with a smile. "Fuck you." James says. Keith plops down on his chest. "What are you doing?" James asks. "Punishment. You are my prisoner. This time, me and Cam are gonna put pins in your hair." James smiles. "Sure thing princess." Keith gets off him and stands, taking James's hand when he does too, and leads him back into the house</em>. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>There's pictures after that of James braiding Erin's hair, who is braiding Alex's, who's doing Lily's, who's doing Cameron's. The next is of James, head lying in Keith's lap as he puts pink and red pins in his hair. </span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You guys sent us pictures of that." Ryan says. "Yeah. Cameron went to town with those pins. She even got a bow on our dad." James says, taking a sip. "She tried to braid my hair. Didn't work though." Keith says. His head is on James's shoulder, who's also leaning on him. "You spent almost all summer with us." James says.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The next picture says "Last day of break" James, Keith and Cameron are staring at the sky, which is full of fireworks. James is in between them, holding Cameron's hand. His and Keith's were barely touching, their pinkies hooked onto each other. Then a few more. Griffins and Keith with sparklers, Keith's eyes shining. Pictures of them walking into the Garrison, waving at the camera. There's a big time gap between the next picture. It's James, coming towards them. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"<em>Jamie!" Cameron yells, running at him. "Hey Cam." He says, hugging her with a smile. "Where's Keith?" His smile falls. "I- he's not here." "Well then where is he?" She asks. James picks his head up, looking off to the side. The sides of his lips rise a bit. "He's out for a ride." He says staring longingly off into the distance. </em></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You didn't tell her?" Keith asked. "I couldn't. It would've destroyed her image of you. And it still hurt." He says softly.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There's far less pictures after. James is smiling in them, but it's different. His eyes don't shine like they used to. His shoulders are bit lower. The next picture is different. It's of the entire Griffin family. Matthew has his arm around the blond girl, and she's holding a small baby. The older sisters all smile. Cameron has her arm around James's waist, whose arm is around her shoulders. James is smiling, but it's obviously fake. His eyes don't shine. The bright purple eyes that were once on that baby's face are now a dull gray, and dark, devoid of life. It fades out.</span>
</p><p>
  <em>
    <span>A video starts. You see Cameron's smiling face. "Hey Jamie! Happy birthday! We miss you. I hope you're having fun, and that Keith's back now. If you see him, tell him I miss him. Abbey says to tell you that Chris is okay, and his health is improving. Maybe you'll get to see him when you come back for your birthday tomorrow! I miss you Jamie, and I love you! Byee!" She says, turning the camera off. </span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>James is the only one whose eyes aren't watering. He sips his beer and lays his empty bottle down, it clinking next to the others. "Happy birthday to me." He mutters. "James.. I- I'm so sorry." Hunk says. Hours have passed, and the first pinks and oranges have begun to paint the sky. "Why didn't you tell us?" Veronica asks. "You'd go into mother hen mode. Demand I stop flying and rest. Send me to some shrink til they said I was all better. You'd pity me. Look down on me. It's human nature. Besides, you're all moving on. Lance has the farm and is doing the occasional diplomatic mission. You're going with Axca to help the Blades, Hunk has Shay and his cooking empire, Pidge is making wormholes and robots. Ryan is going into space with Coran and Rynar to create an atlas of the known universe, Ina and Nadia are leaving and starting their lives. Keith is becoming a fully fledged Blade, and he'll be in space all the time being an alien Red Cross. I lost one family and I'm about to lose another. Telling you all this wasn't part of the plan." "The plan?" Ina asks. "Detaching myself. Everyone I've ever gotten close to had gotten hurt or killed. I didn't want the same to happen to you guys. You're all I have left in the world, and I'm not about to see you get hurt. And I knew once you saw what being in the Galra prison did to me, you'd be afraid of me." "What did they do to you?" Pidge asked. "Injected me with Galra DNA and blood. I'm more Galra than Keith now. But I can't control it. How do you think I survived so long in the woods? I accidentally killed anything that got close. I have nightmares about all the things I've seen and heard, and they're so much more vivid. It's like I'm reliving them. If I close my eyes, I see those memories. The good times. But when I try to sleep, all the pain I've seen come back to me. It's an endless cycle." James says monotonously. "But we could've helped you. Slav or Sam could-" Ina started. "They can't. Believe me, they tried. It's irreversible. They were surprised I hadn't turned purple, with all the Galra DNA I have. Kolivan even offered to try and teach me some Blade stuff so I could control it. But I nearly killed him, so we stopped." James says, flexing his hand. As the others watched, waves of purple went up and down it, shimmering like fur. His eyes glowed dimly. "Why are you all still here?" He asked. "You should be with your families. Tomorrow is Silvio's birthday, isn't it? Don't you have go set up his party?" He asked Veronica. "You sure you'll be okay?" She asked. "I'm still here, aren't I?" He replies. She smiles softly and hugs him, the others following. They headed down the hill, back to the rovers. James heard the engines roar as they sped off. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"Keith?" He asked, turning to the side. "Yeah James?" "I know when you're thinking. So what is it?" He asked. Keith shrugged. "A lot of things. Mainly about you. Why didn't you tell me?" James bows his head. "I didn't want to. Like with Cam, it just- it hurt too much. And I'd been living with it for months before I had a chance to talk to you. Everything is just, kinda numb now. The pain from it. The loss. And you were so happy. You had Shiro, and the others, you'd found your mom…. I didn't want to take that happiness away from you." James admits. "But James, you make me happy." Keith says, taking his hand. "You're important to me. And I can help you. We can learn to control our Galra sides together." He promises. James looks up at him. "Really?" He smiles. "Yes Jamie. Really." For the first time in years, James cracks a smile, his eyes sparkling. "And I love you too." Keith says, mirroring his smile. He leans in and kisses James softly. James laughs once he pulls away. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>"What?" Keith asks. "I guess they were right after all." Keith roll his eyes and kissed James again. "Come on. Let's go." He says, standing and reaching a hand out. James takes it and his present, holding one in each hand. Together, they trash the bottles and get on James's hoverbike, heading back to the base. </span>
</p>
<hr/><p>
  <span>Over the next four years, together, they train with the Blades, both becoming full members. James learns to control his abilities, and Keith helps him accept what happened in the past. Their relationship also grows stronger, and they'd do anything for the other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>James and Shiro never do get along, but share a semi-mutual respect for each other.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Five years later, James is proposing to Keith, who enthusiastically says yes.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>Seven years later, they're with all their friends, in their house on the hill. They built one where James's house one stood, and created new memories in it. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They end up with two children. A girl and a boy. Cameron and Regeris. </span>
</p><p>
  <span>They tell their children and surrogate nieces and nephews their stories. They regale them with the tales of flight and adventure, throwing in the occasional childhood memory. But they never forget what happened to them. Their past doesn't define them, but it is a part of them.</span>
</p><p>
  <span>When they're gray and old, with grandkids and lots and lots of happy memories, they sit on their back porch. On their swing, holding hands and leaning on each other, watching the sunset. "I love you." Keith says. "I love you." James replies. They close their eyes and sigh, their final words having been said.</span>
</p>
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